What Am I To You?
by miME-chan
Summary: Soubi goes to Ritsuka when he fought the male Zeroes. His hand and face painted with a macabre red, Ritsuka forces him to come inside. Soubi’s sacrifice wants to heal his wounds. His physical and mental wounds. And pop. Here comes Ritsuka’s mother.


**_What Am I To You?_**

**A/n: **_Well, I just got the third volume of Loveless. I was reading the part when Soubi did want Ritsuka to see he was hurt. What if Soubi never left? What if Ritsuka stopped him so he wouldn't leave?_

**Rating: **_T just to be safe. Oneshot._

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Loveless. I wish but…Yun Kouga-sensei owns it._

**Summary: **_Soubi goes to Ritsuka when he fought the male Zeroes. His hand and face painted with a macabre red, Ritsuka forces him to come inside. Soubi's sacrifice wants to heal his wounds. His physical and mental wounds. And pop. Here comes Ritsuka's mother._

--

_Where is Soubi? _That was my question throughout the whole night. There was no perverted e-mails or calls from Soubi. I was sitting in his chair staring at the window. The cold harsh wind blew in, going through my fragile body. I kept waiting for my fighter. Several hours past and I was still waiting. And at last, there was a sound coming from the window. Now laying on my bed, I looked up quickly and saw my fighter standing in window.

"Ritsuka." Soubi said breathlessly. He hid his bleeding hand in his pocket, flinching at the same time, and gave me a happy smile. I stood up and walked over to Soubi, giving him a questioning look.

"Come in." Was what I said. Why did I tell me that? I was about to grab Soubi's arm to pull him inside but was startled when he stepped back.

"Soubi?" I asked in confusion.

"Please. Don't…touch me." The flaxen-haired man said, trying not to be mean. I tried to grab him again but I failed. Now this was getting on my nerves. Why was he being so…weird? Silence overcame us.

"I just needed to see your face. I love you, Ritsuka." Soubi said simply. I closed my eyes when he told me he loved me. I knew he was lying. I want him to love me. But being ordered to love someone is terrible. He said Seimei's orders are absolute, so why was he still listening to them? God, he's tearing me up again.

"Stop saying that! You were _just ordered _to love me by Seimei!" I was losing my temper. I didn't want to get angry…it just happened. I closed my eyes and gasped when I heard him turn away. He wasn't getting off that easily. I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, closing the sliding the door in the process. Ha. Beat that Soubi. I pushed him to the bed and saw that there was now spots of blood on the sheets.

"Soubi…were you fighting?" I asked him while sniffing the sheets. I stared at him and saw that he was tongue-tied. "You were, huh?" He nodded and now I was outraged.

"Soubi! You cannot fight without _me_! Understood!?" This was tiring me out.

"Is that…an order?" There he goes again with the orders.

"Yes." I said to him. I sat in front of him, on the ground, and stared at his eyes. They seemed dull…in pain. I was surprised when Soubi stood up. He started to walk to the window.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?!" I asked him…erm…more like yelled at him.

"Home." I couldn't believe he was going to leave when he was injured. What a masochist. I shook my head and knew I was going to regret what I was going to do now.

"Wait. Soubi…" I was sure I was blushing now.

"Yes? Ritsuka?" He was using those sweet words now, but he didn't know that. He was a clueless wonder.

"Stay here with me. I want to fix your wounds." Augh. _Stay here with me? _This was like one of those shoujo manga crap. Soubi smiled and sat next to me. Right after he sat down I stood up to get the first aid kit. Taking it out of my closet, I sat in front him, opening the kit at the same time. I took off his spoiled bandages and put knew ones on him. Disgusting. There was a _hole _in his palm. Whoever did this are going to meet there match now.

Silence. This was so awkward. Soubi never stays with me, especially at this time of night. I'm not sure, but I think I was shaking. It wasn't even winter yet. Maybe I was nervous. How would I know?

"Your shaking." He pointed out. I couldn't resist his smooth voice anymore. I jumped forward and captured his full lips with mine. Now I know he was surprised. Not knowing what to do now, I waited for his response. This felt so wrong…yet _so right_. I felt him ask for entrance with his tongue and opened my mouth. This kiss was so mind blowing…and so wet and hot. I started to feel faint from the lack of oxygen. Breaking apart, he wrapped his arms around my small waist.

"I love...you. Ritsuka." Soubi spoke in his deep voice.

"I know…" Was what I said. "Soubi…what am I to you?"

"You are my sacrifice." I already knew his answer, of course.

"Is that all? Is that all what I am to you? Just your sacrifice? Not your lover? Your friend? Anything?" These words just came out of my mouth. He looked at me with those eyes of his.

"Lover?" Soubi asked. I nodded and looked down again.

"Dammit. Soubi…I…love…you." I couldn't believe I said that. Soubi stared at me, clearly surprised. I saw him smile and captured my lips again.

"I love you too…lover." I just had to smile when he said lover.

"Thank you, Soubi." I was about to kiss him until…

My mother ran in. Dammit. I forgot to lock the door. Soubi and I separated and looked at my mother.

"Ritsuka, who is this?! Why are you friends with an adult?! Who are you!? What did you do with my Ritsuka?" My mother yelled at us. And within a second, my face was in pain. My mother had hit me. Again. I wasn't sure, but I think I felt blood on my face. I couldn't see well, but I think Soubi was outraged now. I could see it in his eyes.

"You do not touch him. And he isn't yours…he is _mine_!" Soubi yelled to her. Gathering me in his arms he went to the door and jumped down from the balcony, hearing my mothers stressed cries of anger.

"Soubi…" I felt faint. I was enveloped in deep darkness.

--

I cringed when I opened my eyes.

"Dammit." The light was burning.

"Ooh! Loveless-kun said a bad word, Soubi." I heard a familiar voice whine. "Aren't you going to punish him?" I jumped when that person touched my ears. Now I noticed who it was. It was Youji and Natsuo.

"Soubi! Where am I?!" I asked him.

"At my apartment. Ritsuka…I need to tell you something." His voice sounded overwhelmed. Strained. I waited but nothing came. Youji and Natsuo took the warning at went to the bathroom.

"Your mother, Ritsuka…She's dead." It couldn't be. But I did feel slightly relieved. How would Ritsuka feel like?

"After I took you here, Ritsuka, she went ballistic and burned her self along with your house. Everything in your room was saved but…I'm sorry Ritsuka." He kept going on. I guess it was good that my stuff was saved. The pictures…the memories. My mother… I stood out of bed and walked over to Soubi. Gathering his blonde hair in my arms, I hugged him.

"At least I am alive Soubi." I said to him. "Thank you." I love him so much.

--

**A/n: **_Augh. This story sucks. Thanks for reading….now you know what to do. And if you don't…,REVIEW PLEASE_

♥_miME_

_P.S. Oh yeah. No offense too people who love shoujo manga. I mean...Loveless is a shoujo manga kind of, ne? Shoujomanga 3 _


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